Sunday, July 21, 2013

Bring me to life

This is a post specially about the woman who brought me to life..

A few months ago up until today, life's been pretty hectic. It all started after their umrah visit last February 2013.
Once both of them arrived at home, it seemed common for them to lose weight, to be coughing around and to have mild fever that we would associate to 'weather change'. After a week, my father gained his health back and was fit for work, but my mother's experience was vice versa. Her cough didn't manage to heal and she was frequently complaining about her ulcer which was in her mouth.

After visits to several clinics nearby, my mother was referred to a specialist in March. It was then she was diagnosed with Stage 2, mouth ca(cancer). Our hearts sank in the beginning and my mother (being a mother and the strongest person in this house), she accepted it positively. She didn't want us to cry and sympathize for her. So, we didn't have any time to feel sad and never would we show/talk about it with the other siblings, we were forced to be positive and we were determined to face anything that was coming and showered her with endless support.

Personally for me during that period, I took leave on and off and focused on nursing my mom when I was needed, my sister also skipped class and even differed a semester. Throughout that period her health then deteriorated.In May she lost her ability to speak, swallow and was very weak. At that moment the ca was at Stage4(as to date). Mouth ca spreads really fast, and because of that she lost a tremendous amount of weight (25kg to be exact) until she could hardly walk and had to wear a nappy coz she can't even make it to the loo. We had to be there for her around the clock as she can't even assist herself to do anything. It was difficult to adapt with at first, with lack of sleep at night and my timetable totally flipped. I didn't study or improvise on my teaching after working hours as I wastaking care of my mother, thus at times when we rotated shifts during my so called 'free' time I would sleep to energize myself for my next shift. Every night I would sleep with my mother attending to her needs in the wee hours in the morning and if we weren't at home, I'd be sleeping on the hospital's chair at night and head to the office in the morning. It was then at the hospital I realized how I miss my bed and my normal daily routine.

The only option we have left is to undergo chemotherapy since she refuses surgery. After 2 chemo treatments, she is gradually gaining her strength back.
This is the latest pic of ma mere..

right: leaving for umrah
left: after second chemo

I hope that in this beautiful month of Ramadhan, you can say a little prayer for my mom so that she will be strong to fight the evil cancer cells.

I thank Allah for everything.
Thank you for giving me a sister who can take the day shift while I take the night shifts.
Thank you for giving me brothers who can drive for me when I feel super tired and can buy groceries for us.
Thank you for giving me a father who helps a lot in doing household chores. heheee

Although life is a bit bumpy, this might be a test from the Almighty to remind us to get closer to Him and to appreciate what we have in life.